Thursday, 28 October 2010


I am now a published illustrator!

Sunday, 24 October 2010

Dodgy old me

I have a soft spot for songs about older men who love younger girls. Perhaps it's this obsession with songs about older men loving younger girls that led to me being a huge tomb raider and generally only fancying men who are considerably older than me. Or perhaps not.  Anyway here is a selection of great songs dealing with the subject.

Gary Puckett and the Union Gap - Young Girl

When i was little i absolutely loved this song. I have distinct memories of singing along to it on long car journeys with my family around age 7. And i still think it's marvellous! I love songs like this that tell a story, in one 3 minute song you really become involved in the relationship of the characters. The way that Gary sings really hits me because he sounds so very pained it becomes almost poignant. But it's so cheesy and silly I can't take it seriously and it just makes me really happy. Also I love the part in the video where that terrifying doll lurches to the front of the screen all of a sudden.
Poor Gary at least knows that his love is wrong, it's the Lolitaish girl who's instigated this whole mess! But lyrics like 'Get out of here before i have the time to change my mind cause im afraid we'll go too far' are slightly distressing! It's also the only one of these songs which is definately about a girl who is underage, the rest just refer to young girls but presumably mean young women, not children. But Gary didn't know ok!

Little Girls by Oingo Boingo

Apparently this was written by Mr Elfman because he often saw people in hollywood driving around with really, really young women and was disgusted by it. So he wrote this song about how loving young girls is great because they're easier to be in a relationship with than a mature woman as they don't ask questions or threaten the bloke intellectually.  It's got a more serious meaning than the others as it investigates (rather cynically) the reasons why men might choose to date women considerably younger than themselves  but still remains hideously catchy and fun. I love singing and dancing along to it.

Young Girls by Sparks

I had a cd of Sparks songs that came with footnotes written by Russell and Ron and the caption for this was something like ' Yes your honour, it's all about being a dirty old man'. Enough said!

Does Your Mother Know by Abba

I like this one because of how indifferent the singers character is about the situation. He's happy to flirt, chat,  dance and so on with the young girl but just drawers the line at sex. The whole thing has a kind of tongue-in-cheek humour as if he's laughing at the situation even though it's obvious that this young girl is persuing him agressively. He knows that this girl (who presumably is underage) wants just one thing from him but instead of being disturbed or taking it seriously at all just laughs that she should probably go home to her mum.
And check out those dance moves!

And now a song i like by a man who actually loves little girls:

Oh dear.
I find it odd that Gary Glitter's music has a huge stigma attached to it while Michael Jackson's does not. I guess it's because Gary is almost definately a paedophile, whereas Michael was only possibly a paedophile and that makes all the difference. Also one of the (most ridiculous) reasons people gave that Michael couldn't possibly have touched kids is that his music is meant to give love to the world and apparently Mr Glitter's isn't.  But if you can ignore the uneasy feeling that comes from listening to a convicted child molester asking if you want to touch him there, it's really fun and catchy like most of his songs. And I like his silly glam wardrobe. The sick fuck.

I can't think of any more songs about young girl love except the Police's dont stand so close to me and i hate the police so that one doesn't count!

Reason number 1 why Sparks are the greatest band in existance

This video:

Now a lot of people go on about how weird videos like Come to Daddy by Aphex twin are but my word the first time i saw this one i was just dumbfounded by how incredibly bizarre it all is.
Children doing ring around  the roses at night/ around a fake apple tree/ pantomime cow head.
Ron Mael grinning malevolantly and wearing various creepy rubber animal masks and at one point weird twiggy hands.
Ron Mael weirdly squishing his wolf mask for a while.
A pantomime cow that appears for no apparent reason reflected in Russell's glasses.
It turning out that the cow is Ron.
And all the while Russell Mael is just in the background singing and doing his weird shoulder dance!

The whole thing would be a lot less weird if it was the video to, say, Young Girls, which has it's only paedophillic tones but Funny Face has a very clear story which has absolutely nothing to do with anything that goes on in the video!

And that's why they are great.